Dear diary: Fluffy

Fluffy:

I never knew you would be like this. I never knew that the you i always knew was just a mask beneath it lies reality. 
It is a lie. It had to be. I needed that lie because, you were once dear, you were once everything.
Suddenly all i see is black and white, there are no more colors in this world. Had there ever been? 

i walked in the streets, in between people feeling like nothing, feeling meaningless.
it's funny how everything changes once you learned the truth, once you actually live reality not some stupid fictional fluffy pink world you made yourself believe life was. 
Who are you lying to? there's nothing in this world called 'good', there's only bad. 
This life is nothing but a lie.

I fell for the same mistake many before me did.I trusted people, but at the end everything was revealed. They took off the masks they wore and showed me their true selves, they showed me that all the  years i lived were nothing but a lie. A lie i made up my own self.

I trusted them and that was the end. Now i'm wondering how many people i lied to before, how many people i tricked. I must have done it millions of times. Of corse  i did, i'm a human after all. I'm not good. I'm bad. 
And i'm nothing.

I'm nothing.

i roamed the city for hours, thinking about the life i'm living, the lie i'm living, then i found myself on the bridge. 

i studied my surroundings for a few seconds.It was dark, and didn't see anyone around. 
It was time for me to end that meaningless life of mine, and that was the perfect place
i climbed the bars then looked down. It was terrifying but it was time for me to go. There was no longer any meaning for me to stay.

there was no longer any meaning for life, not after i discovered what life really was, and what people really were. 
i closed my eye, took a deep breath and prepared myself for jumping.

But when i proceeded to do so, a voice dragged me back to my pink, fluffy, fictional life.