Rant: Am I Bad?

Today, I met the friend that I don't like much anymore. I had always wanted our friendship to end because we really don't share much in common and I get annoyed with her a lot. After studying in university, we slowly drifted apart, and I think that that is for the best. I have new friends that I get along with so much better, and so does she. I am thankful that it ended peacefully instead of a big fight.

After greeting her this day, I felt like I was a bad person even though I wasn't mean to her. She seemed like she was tired and off, so I asked what was up and she replied that she was ill and felt a bit depressed. When I didn't ask further, she asked me why I didn't ask about her illness, and she also wondered why we weren't calling each other anymore. I really had no idea what to say, but I knew in my head that our friendship was simply over, and now we just became people that were once close.

After departing, I started thinking about how she was really doing. I haven't talked to her in a long time and I wondered if she was stressed about something. Last year was so horrible for me that I felt depressed for a long period of time and nearly lost my cheerful positive self. I hoped that she was not going through the same thing as I did. I want to talk to her and reassure her, but I don't really want to bound with her again. I know that if I talked to her, she would get stuck to me and I really get annoyed when all she talks about are only her interests forcing me to pay attention to things I really don't ware about.

I feel really bad. I hope that she does not hate me because I don't call her or pay attention to her anymore, well, neither of us is trying to call the other anyway. I don't know why I sometimes feel so bad about things I can't do anything about.